Dealing with the unexpected

Life. It throws all kinds of things at us--good, bad, horrible, wonderful. Does not matter who you are, where you live, your age or your income, life will sneak up on you and take your breath away. At times you may be amazed and excited and can barely speak because of the blessings. But other times, you get dealt such a horrible blow, it knocks the breath right out of you like a punch in the gut, or like an elephant sitting on your chest. Everything seems okay, something happens and you think you are handling it, that it will all come together, when BAM! Life turns completely upside down, your world is on the brink of collapse, and you have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Your situation is hopeless, you are lost, there is nothing you can do. Even Christians with strong faith get sucked into the pit of despair. 

The past 18 months have been a test of our mettle, stretching our faith to its absolute limit. And right now, I am having trouble holding on. And lost as to what to do, how to help, unable to wrap my head around this. This new family crisis threatens to crush all of us.

Our son-in-law, husband of our daughter, father of little Sophie, is in the Navy. He has been stationed out west on an unaccompanied tour for nearly two years while his family is in Mississippi. Last year he thumbed his nose at some Navy regulations, covered it up, and when he was discovered, tried to delay the inevitable punishment by committing a crime. A crime of which he thought he could manage the consequences, but it got worse. He got caught, and has been on administrative hold for nine months and faced a court-martial this week. We could not do anthying to fix it, to mitigate it, other than be with him this past weekend, testify on his behalf, and then wait for the outcome. 

That outcome came this evening. His sentence: 12 months confinement, reduction in grade (rank) from E-7 to E-4, and a fine of over $30,000. Although we were prepared for it, and though we knew it could have been worse, that news has knocked the breath out of us, especially his wife. The financial burden is cataclysmic, let alone the shame, embarrassment, and anger over his actions and its consequences. The impact on their marriage, their relationship will be huge, and can only be healed with time and lots of talking. And prayer. 

We knew 9 months ago this day was coming, and struggled with the decision of how to help, how to be there for our daughter who now had to get a job, find healthcare and benefits for her and her daughter, and rethink her entire life. We thought about the issues she would face, and face alone. We knew what we had to do; we simply did not want to do it. Not now. Not in retirement. 

Then we remembered we are only here for the blink of an eye, a moment in time; we are here to help others, especially those whom God has given us to love and raise. So we are buying a house in Mississippi, four minutes from our daughter, so we can go back and forth and help wherever we can--childcare, daily chores, home maintenance, finances, and most of all, to be the light to lead her out of the darkness of this horrible situation.  

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." (Psalm 46:1-3 ESV)