Do you know what I miss? Phone calls. Real, honest-to-goodness, old-fashioned phone calls. The kind where you hear the phone ring, and there is that moment of surprise mixed with curiosity and even irritation over the interruption, before I pick up the phone and say “Hello?” and hear the caller say “Hi_______!” Depending on whether I can identify the voice and what fills in the blank (Mom, Honey, Barbara, Mrs Ritchey), my mood changes to joy, anticipation, or again, irritation. Daughter calling for advice or news; parents calling to chat and ask about me; spouse or boyfriend (a LONG time ago!) telling me about their day and expressing love and concern; friends calling to chat or set up a time to meet; work calling to tell me something that can’t wait till the next day; doctors or vets or dentists or repairmen calling about invoices, appointments, lab work; salesman calling to interrupt my dinner. Regardless of the who, when, or why, there is a voice of a real live person on the other end. We are connected. Talking. Listening. Sharing.
Today we don’t talk. We text, message via FaceBook, WhatsApp, etc., comment on social media posts, or post our “status updates.” Communication is voiceless. Emotionless. Sterile. Not human. It’s just words on a screen. Replies are implied by the “…” in the respondent’s window. Emotions, responses, and feelings are replaced by memes, gifs, emojis, or 21st-century shorthand: "LOL," "IDK," "IYKYK," "RN," and "DM." When I call someone, I rarely hear the voice of the person or business I’m calling answer. Nope—voicemail, bots, options to press, or nothing at all. As if that isn’t demoralizing enough, callers know if the person they are contacting got the message/call; confirmation is shown by “read,” checkmarks, or a tiny photo of the receiver. On the receiving end, we know right away who is calling and can choose immediately to answer, not answer, or send to voicemail. We can even block other people from calling or texting us!
And it isn’t that texting or FaceBook messages are any more efficient than phone calls. It would be great if they were. They’re ignored just as much. Some people get so many texts and messages they forget to read or answer earlier texts. And while shorthand communication (texts, messages, anything not involving person-to-person and voice-to-voice) is useful in some scenarios (providing addresses for directions, confirming appointment times, and communicating with people overseas to set up a phone call), it is not the same as people talking to people. Non-voice communication is two computers communicating. These modes of “talking” are often ignored, forgotten, or worse yet, misunderstood. Because we’ve gotten too lazy or stupid to communicate efficiently. Have you seen the movie "Idiocracy?"
Yes, I’m guilty of it too. To avoid confrontation, the possibility of rejection, or talking to people I don’t know well, I’ve fallen into the horrible lazy habit of messaging people in my family, my town, my neighborhood, and even in my house. The other day I sent a too-short text message asking another member about someone in our church, and it was perceived as lacking compassion. Because I was too lazy or in a hurry or too busy to send a proper message or just CALL DAMN IT!
Communication is so much harder these days. That little personal computer we all walk around with is a double-edged sword. We can look up anything, read emails and listen to messages without going home, find directions, listen to music, and take photos. We do not even need to think. Sadly, though, we are so connected we have forgotten the initial purpose of it was as a phone. It was supposed to be an upgrade to the home phone, presumably, so we could call people and answer their calls anytime, anywhere. Somehow, though, it has morphed into anything but a telephone; I fail to see why a smartphone is "smart." It certainly does not make the user any smarter.
Phone calls have been relegated to the same obsolete pile as letter-writing; sending birthday, thank you, sympathy, and special occasion cards; having a conversation without the ubiquitous "smartphone" in our hands; telling stories without showing photos or FaceBook posts; and reading books (especially reading to our kids).
Nearly 8 billion people on the planet; we talk to fewer every day. Sad.
