No baggage....just love

Alex and I did not get to meet our oldest grandchildren until this year.  Long story, but suffice it to say, they had absolutely nothing to do with us not meeting them.  We met Darrin, our one and only grandson, who is 7, almost 8, and wise beyond his years, at my father-in-law's funeral in September.  Granted, not the best place or occasion to introduce yourselves as grandparents.  He was, understandably, a bit quiet. Then, in October, we drove down to the Florida panhandle for his big sister's 9th birthday party. Raina, as her name implies, is the queen of any situation.  And the birthday party was a big improvement over the funeral the previous month.  We got to know Darrin a little bit better, and of course saw Raina preside over her birthday celebrations. But we still did not really have a good connection.  

So, we do what all normal grandparents do...we went shopping at Gymboree and A Children's Place and bought lots of cool clothes, and we invited them all up for a long weekend at our home in North Carolina!  I have never seen my husband so freaking excited...he was actually accomplishing things on his Honey-Do list, he was so excited. He was helping me clean!  He even was showering and shaving!  Seriously, he was over the moon excited to reestablish ties with our daughter, and to get to know her children.  In our home.  

They arrived on a Friday night...super excited, super pumped about the long ride up here. They almost wouldn't go to sleep, they were so excited.  Over the next four days we crammed in so much activity I really have no idea where we got the time--hiking, driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway, more shopping, ice cream sundaes, cuddling humane society kittens, more hiking, playing with legos, countless games of WAR!, learning to play chess, making our own Christmas ornaments out of air-dry clay, making personal pan pizzas, playing with a new friend, watching all three Madagascars, cuddling on laps, entertaining neighbors and guests, hanging out at OP Taylor's (only the best toy store on the planet!), helping make the dogs their breakfast, and got lots and lots of hugs.  

And what amazed me most of all, was the way the names just rolled off their tongues, "Nana and Pappy"  They accepted us for who we are with no questions asked.  Unconditionally.  No explanations required.  No "where have you been for the past xxx years?"  Just love.  Smiles.  Pure adorable cuteness.  Too bad it only lasted for five years.

God's Perfect Timing

So much on my mind tonight.  Joy, sadness, and awe.  

Joy for the precious grandchildren God has blessed us with, most recently Raina and Darrin--my eyes fill with tears as the house is finally full of my husband's laughter and the children's giggles. We have waited for over 10 years for this moment, there were times, I confess, we thought it would never arrive, but God works on His schedule, not ours. And the joy is all the sweeter, because it happened when God designed it to happen.

Sadness and yet anticipation for the wonders God will work for so many friends and neighbors struggling with illnesses, with legal issues, with financial woes. Two friends are at the end of their earthly lives, their loved ones praying by their side, waiting for their God and savior to take them to their Home.  Another person, whom I have never met, is right now fighting death, as hundreds of prayer warriors entreat God to work one of His wondrous miracles, and to heal his cancer-ridden body. And two dear friends are facing emotionally exhausting legal battles, due to no fault of their own, and God holds them in His capable hands.  

And, awestruck by His perfect timing. For last night, as I was taking my granddaughter, Raina, to the store to buy a couple of things for dinner, a guy on a scooter ran off our country road into a ditch. I almost thought he was just going off-roading, it happened so fast; I stopped the car, and it took me almost a minute to see where he went!  Had we not been there right at that moment, he would never have been found. You couldn't even see him from the road for all the leaves and the bridge and the sharp curve. He was laying in the leaves, his leg all twisted in a weird way, and he was moaning.  I called my husband, then 911, and waited for the EMS to come by. Meanwhile, I tried to keep him warm with my Clemson fleece jacket, and keep him calm, and prayed. The rescue squads came, they got that young man out of the ditch, and Lord willing, he is doing okay 

So many "coincidences." So yes, I trust Him to work all things out to His glory. He's done pretty good so far.   😉

Equal Pay for Unequal Work

One of the mantras of the recent election campaign was "equal pay for equal work."   Hillary Clinton used her feminine gender to imply she was one such underpaid woman, and she promised she would champion the rest of the female workforce, by ensuring all women would receive the same pay as their male counterparts for the same work. Being a woman myself, I couldn't agree more (although being in the military, my pay was always based on gender neutral criteria such as time in service and time in grade...so I made the same as a male of the same rank, same time in service....but I digress).  

Segue to my reading and study yesterday...Matthew 20:20-28. The mother of the sons of Zebedee goes up to Jesus and boldly (arrogantly?) demands for her two sons to sit at Jesus' right and left in His kingdom. Of course Jesus goes on to speak about the last being first, and how He came to  serve, not be served. And of course, the disciples, as usual, just were way off base--they kept thinking Jesus was referring to some sort of earthly kingdom or takeover of Rome when he'd speak about His Father's Kingdom...so of course, they wanted to share in some of the spoils of that kingdom. There was much jockeying about for who's first, who's the favorite, teacher's pet, and all that. Fantastic lessons there--the first will be last, and the last will be first. Jesus rebukes them by telling James and John (and the rest of the disciples) that none of them  know what they are asking!  Can they drink His cup (bear His suffering?)  Yes, Lord!  Fine, He says...you will, but only the Father can grant who receives what reward in His kingdom. Powerful lessons.  But I needed more than this. So, as I often do,  I read the verses leading up to this, verses 1-16: the laborers in the vineyard. And this is where my study yesterday dovetails with the equal pay for equal work platform.  

Jesus likens the kingdom of heaven to a master of a house who goes out at various times of the day to hire laborers for his vineyard. The first time he finds laborers eagerly looking for work, and agrees to pay them a denarius for a day's work.  Then, every couple of hours after that, he goes to the marketplace and just sees people idly standing around, so he offers them work too, even though no one else would hire them. All day long, all the way up to an hour before sunset, the master goes out and hires folks to work in his vineyard. Well, when it came time to pay them, each laborer received the same pay....regardless of how long he worked. And when that caused some grumbling among the ones who worked all day, the master told them "you agreed to work for that amount, so take what belongs to you and don't worry what I do with my money. It is mine and I will do with as I please.  

Well, the older I get, the more I realize I wasted years not working in my Lord's vineyard. I idled my time away doing foolish things, and got sidetracked a lot, and often worried too much about earthly pay and earthly rewards.   And while I admit I have at times been jealous of someone who worked fewer hours and received better pay or more recognition, I am ever so grateful and thankful that I will receive the same pay, the same salvation, and the same reward despite doing nothing to earn it. Jesus paid the entire price, He took all the pain, and we get to share in the glory.  As for the laborers in God's kingdom?  Whether we are called early or late, praise God we receive equal pay for unequal work.

Brotherly Love

Don't you just love it when you read something really simple, and you are like, "yeah, that's right!  That is so simple! Everyone should be doing it that way!  If the whole world did that, like I do it...ahem....um....cough, cough, what? Me? Oh, I am supposed to do this too?  I thought it applied to everyone else, not me.  I thought I had this Christian stuff down already. What? Brotherly love? But I'm a woman, so wouldn't it be 'sisterly' love? LOL. ha ha....just kidding. You're not laughing, pastor.  Sigh. Okay. Let me read it again. I'll pay attention this time."

That is how I felt tonight at evening service. We had choir practice, and then we started right into our little short evening service, and did prayer requests and such, sang a couple of hymns of worship, and then Andy read two little verses out of Hebrews--two verses! I mean, what could be so consequential about two verses, 19 words really.

     Let brotherly love continue.  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers,  for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Hebrews 13:1-2)

Okay, first of all, I've got to be honest (it is sort of a requirement to be honest, especially when you have a Bible open under your feet). I sometimes do not even let brotherly love start, let alone let it continue. At least not for everyone. Sometimes I just show that brotherly love towards people I like, or people I agree with, or people who believe the same way I do. It's easier like that. But I am fairly certain that is NOT what Paul (or Christ or the Holy Spirit or even my pastor) meant.   

Second, that hospitality toward strangers? Does He mean inviting people I don't know to my house? So they will know where I live? And see what I have? What if the strangers think I am just trying to impress them? What if they come back and rob me? What if I embarrass them? What if I embarrass myself? What if I cook something they are allergic to? What if they're vegans? Or diabetics? How do I invite these people? On Facebook? Phone? On the street? Text? Is there a dress code? See? These are the crazy things, aka excuses, that go through my mind. My mind is a complex, frightening thing...

So, homework this week is brotherly love towards all, and show hospitality to someone I don't know. Reflect the love of Christ

I am going to bed. I need a good night's sleep.

Losing heart

I am beyond exhausted. Not physically--well, not most of the time, anyway. But emotionally and spiritually drained. And no, I promise I will spare you the litany of the craziness and trials and sorrows we have struggled through over the past 18 months. I just begin to feel as if "things" are getting back to some semblance of normalcy, and then, from seemingly out of nowhere, BAM!  I am knocked flat on my butt. Left shaking my head and wondering what hit me. Figuratively, of course. It is as if I am in a spiritual knock down, drag out fight, a fight that has been going on for months.  

I had all kinds of excuses and reasons for this extreme state of exhaustion. And not all are "bad" either--it has just been a very, very busy year. There is the election, and now the post-election protests; forest fires burning practically over the next mountain, and no rain; friends' legal troubles and health concerns, Alex's gout attacks, all our children and grandchildren living so far away, and on top of it all, the alarming amount of hate and animosity being spewed out at fellow human beings on something so laughingly called "social" media.   Yup, these all seemed extremely plausible to me. I am extremely comfortable to wrap myself up in the mantle of these nice, cozy, convenient excuses to be, and to remain (and complain about being) exhausted.

Yes, I have been losing heart. And I have been trying to quench my thirst with whatever I can find that's convenient, and satisfy my hunger with whatever is easiest to fix or fast to eat. As for boredom, or relaxation, heck, we have the internet, wifi, smart phones, music, volunteer work, gardening, housework, and knitting. I have essential oils and can get a pedicure and maybe even a massage, or I can go for a walk in the woods. Yeah, that will do the trick, right?

Wrong. I am losing heart because, as God gently pointed out this morning, I am trying to get refreshment from earthly sources. I am embarrassed to say there are many days I check my phone before I say good morning to the Lord, or check my FaceBook notifications before I even read one verse of Scripture, and eat breakfast before I even thank God for the day! So, is it any wonder I have run out of steam, have no energy, or am losing heart?  

Praise the Lord, though, as Paul said, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Cor 4:16-17

Re-new. New again. Day by day. I must resolve to do better, to put aside foolish, temporary things that do not renew me or refresh me -- at least until after I say good morning to my Creator, and spend some time in His Word, to listen quietly to Him. Because I find that when I start my day like that, I am so much less exhausted, and I have so much more energy to glorify Him in all I do.

Which is the idea anyway.