Perspective

Why do parents and their kids react to phone calls (or any communication) with each other so differently? Whether they’re little or grown, when mom or dad calls out to their progeny, the children always seem absorbed in something infinitely more important. But when the kids holler for Mommy or Daddy, boom! The requested parent would answer or appear.  Strangely enough, when the children are grown, the tableau repeats itself: mom or dad drop in (if they live nearby) or call, or nowadays, text or try to video chat and don’t you know, little Billy or Zoe, all grown up, is just far too busy to spend any quality time with the person who gave them life. But the kids, all “grown up,” call at any hour of the day, their call is answered, or at least promptly returned if missed. 

That “person,” the parent, also happened to have people who gave her life: parents. Parents would call out to her when she was on the porch playing Barbies, and she’d either not hear them or completely ignore them. And when this person grew up, his parents would want to call or be called, visit or be visited. Sometimes it was a chore, an interruption to things he had planned or was doing. Sometimes he’d call, maybe even drive down to see them. She’d make it a habit to call her parents every Sunday at eight. True, though, when their parents would call them or want to visit outside of scheduled times, he or she would let out an audible sigh as if the inconvenience was just too much. Funny enough, they came to enjoy the calls, the visits, the “interruptions “ to their everyday life. 

 

And herein is my dilemma. My head tells me children are supposed to push away from their parents, to become their own person, to fulfill the purpose God has for each of them. I know perfectly well the umbilical cord was cut minutes after each of them was born, and nothing I do can reconnect it. But my heart? Oh, my heart hurts, and yearns to reach out to grasp every possible moment with each of my daughters, and with each of my granddaughters. I don’t want to be relegated to a corner of their lives—I want to be front and center. 

Let’s get real, though. Are my expectations for my relationship with my children in line with my relationship with my parents when they were alive? Did I really include my parents in every facet of my life or am I merely romanticizing our interactions? Wasn’t I just as wrapped up in my everyday minutia? 

Depends on the perspective, I guess.

God give me the peace and wisdom to balance all my relationships with those you have blessed me with.