Here I am, sitting in a beautiful log home that would be the envy of most, on a gorgeous sunny day in the mountains of North Carolina. I SHOULD be thankful and grateful for the gifts God has blessed me with, and especially for my redemption through Christ. I SHOUILD be praising Him. I SHOULD be rejoicing that my past is forgiven and my future is in heaven. I SHOULD be seeking to glorify Him and be who He has planned for me. Yeah, I shouild be doing and thinking a lot of things. But am I? Nope.
Today I am allowing my emotions to rule me. I selfishly want to be appreciated and loved and respected for what I do, for who I am, for what I have accomplished, for the roles I fill, when I SHOULD be listening to that still small voice of the Holy Spirit inside me, trying to guide me and lead me to do God's will. Why am I so down? Why do I seek appreciation from someone else for the tasks God has relegated to me? Why is my face not lifted up, my heart not bursting with joy?
Because I am trusting my emotions, my feelings, instead of the spirit inside of me. I don't do what I do to achieve medals or honor or accolades. I do what I do because it brings God glory, and that gives me joy, joy unspeakable--usually, anyway. But today, I have let the imp of self-doubt into my head, and have bent my ear to the whisperings of the Father of Lies. He tells me "You are far more important than others. You deserve praise," when truthfully, I deserve nothing, I earn nothing. Only by the precious blood of Jesus and the bountiful grace of God am I here today with the assurance I have a seat reserved for me in heaven.
Oh the false allure of fame and glory and appreciation, the foolishness of the pretense of humility.
Pride. Pitiful, ridiculous, ignorant, deceptive, and egotistical pride.
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