Rubbing salt in the wound

Last year I tried for three months to get my two sisters to help me with my elderly mom's care--financially, emotionally, whatever way they could. They could not, would not, Sam-I-am-I-do-not-like-green-eggs-and-ham, help out in any way.  One wanted nothing to do with her (said Mom needed 24/7 nursing care), and the other said she was through caring for Mom, and would not ever involve herself with that craziness again...that whatever I decided was "fine with her."  So, we moved her here, she got sick, then sicker, etc., etc., home healthcare, then into a nursing home, hospital, geropsychiatric unit, etc., etc., guardianship hearing. Months of pleas for help (crickets), emails and texts asking for financial assistance (silence), snail mail letter updating them on her status and asking if they wanted her dog, her belongings, or if they could help in any way, shape or form. Nada, nothing, zip.  One sister would sneak out here to Brevard when she knew we were out of town, and finally conspired with the other sister to bust Mom out of the nursing home.  They filed criminal charges against me. Dropped, unfounded. Harassed me for months.  Cyber-bullied. Sent false accusations to local businesses. Convinced my parents and nieces and nephews I made it all up, that I stole Mom's money, her dog, her things, that Mom is perfectly fine, no problem at all.

But worse than that? These same siblings who repeatedly refused to help me, who told me they did not have the time, the inclination, the heart, or the desire to assume Mom's care, who left it all up to me and my husband, who brushed off their hands and did not give us one red cent or, more importantly, one shoulder to lean on for 15 months of hell, all of the sudden are sharing care of said mother. One sister actually just left for overseas this past weekend, for six weeks, and the other sister flew up TO Nashville to BRING Mom back to Florida WITH her.  The sister who actually said "I was forced to take care of her and I will never be put in that position ever again."  And, to rub salt in the wound, my parents are flying down to see my sister in December to "help her out" after she has a minor knee procedure.  And she has friends and three grown children she can fly down for free. Really? My parents?  Who not only did not come out and see me after Mom was transferred to a nursing home, they did not want to even hear me vent about all the issues i was having...even though Alex's parents were critically ill, and I was all alone, and needed someone to talk to, to lean on. They just told me "Everyone has problems" The same parents who refused to "take sides" but knew all along my sister was planning on moving my mom out of the facility? Even though I had POA? That both sisters were working against me?  

Poor little me.  (Warning:  Metaphor avalanche ahead). I have been slapped in the face. Had the scab ripped off the wound and salt poured and rubbed in it, then lemon juice poured on it for good measure. I've turned the other cheek. People tell me to let it go.  To drop it.  To move on. To be a peacemaker. How can I when I keep getting sand kicked in my face?  I just think it is safe to go back into the damn water, and then BAM!, a shark sidles up and bites a big chunk out of my self esteem, my faith, my trust in the Lord. I am not deluding myself either...I am fully aware there are folks out there who have far worse things to deal with than a couple of Benedict Arnold sisters. In fact, I go to church with several wonderful people who are dealing with situations that would knock the breath out of many of you.  

Then it hits me. "But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."  (Matt 5:39)  I am being completely selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed, when I should be Christ-focused, Christ-centered, and Christ-absorbed. Okay, yeah, I know, that last one is a stretch, but it's my blog, not yours. I am seeking to be understood, instead of seeking to understand. Seeking to be accepted, not seeking to accept others. Trying to get others to see my way, instead of seeing their point of view. And most importantly, I have been forgetting that all of us are created in the image of our God--not just me, not just the people I like, or the nice people, or the folks who agree with me, or vote like me, or believe the same as me. But all people. And I am commanded by He who created me to love everyone. My neighbors  My friends. My family. My enemies. Everyone.Whether they believe me or not. Whether they like me or not. Period.  

He didn't say it would be easy.

God's pathway never is.  

Election year dilemma

Everyone has an opinion about how I should vote this year--neighbors, family, acquaintances, FaceBook "friends," the Gospel Coalition, Franklin Graham, Warren Buffet, and my local paper. People are sharing their viewpoints-- some gently, and some not so gently. And while internet and FaceBook hoaxes are not new, this election has certainly spawned some very creative ones: fake quotes, fake violence, nonexistent endorsements, and my favorite ones so far--"Obama signs an EO banning the Pledge of Allegiance in schools" and "3 critically injured after Trump supporter sets mosque on fire." Seriously. People believe this stuff. Neighbors post signs to display candidates they support, only to find those signs defaced or stolen within hours. My darling 80-year old neighbor had all his signs covered with opposition party signs, and his Trump sign ripped off the chain! And in quiet little Asheville, a local rally held by women resulted in a shoving match. Between women. I am being inundated with rhetoric, satire, jokes, breaking news, and old news, SNL, late night and TV talk shows, cable "news", FaceBook, pop-up ads, spam, bumper stickers--it's everywhere, it's relentless, it's exhausting, and it's not helpful. At all. 

Debate moderators are a joke--they argue more with the candidates than the candidates argue with each other. The issues, if there ever were any, are buried under the stinking, rotting pile of name-calling, character assassination, Wikileaks, vulgar videotaped conversations, and the ever-present, never-objective sensationalism-seeking entertainers who laughingly call themselves journalists. The candidates talk more about how the other candidate is worse than they do about themselves or their platform. Hell, does anyone even have a platform any more?They have FaceBook and Twitter and Instagram, yeah. But where do they really stand on the issues? Will they raise my taxes? Can I find a job? How do I afford healthcare? What about the rise in terrorism? What are you going to do to make our country safer? Is Russia going to start a nuclear war? What are your plans to fix our failing education system? What about racism? Those are the questions I want answered. I do not care a whit about deleted emails on Hillary's private server--really, I do not. And I don't give a rat's ass about what Trump said as he was bragging to that jerk Billy Bush. I am sick to death of Trump-ites repeating whatever litanies they are fed by Wikileaks or the media on Clinton's emails, Benghazi, or her husband's sexual escapades. As for much of the hypocritical public shaking their heads and their fingers at Trump's vulgarities, they sit in their living rooms and ogle scantily clad bodies on Dancing with the Stars, and watch Bachelors and Bachelorettes grope multiple prospective future mates on camera, or watch episodes of "insert your favorite TV show here" that have steamy, soft porn scenes and tawdry jokes and groping--on prime time TV, on practically any channel, any time of day. So please, quit telling me that you know best. I don't need anyone writing to me, or imploring me and other "sisters in Christ" to not "deceive myself" about Trump's true identity. I am not stupid. Or uninformed. I am just overhwlemed with the hypocrisy of it all--the media, the lack of true competition, the lack of readily available information, and the preponderance of misinformation that is drowning out or hiding or disguising the truth. 

So how am I to decide? Follow the herd mentality and vote down the party line? Vote the way "respected" Christian leaders are telling me to vote? Do I have to vote? Am I voting for something? Or against something? Why do we know so little about third party candidates? Do they have a chance? Does my vote really matter? Does this election really matter? "Vote your conscience." "A vote for Trump is a vote against Hillary." "Vote the lesser of two evils." "Your vote determines the future of your grandchildren." "Make America Great Again." "Stronger Together." One promises to shatter the Washington bureaucracy and shake things up. Another vies to be the first woman president of the US. Neither of them appear to be fit for office. In a country of over 300 million people, these are the only choices we have next month. I do not yet know how I will check the boxes on November 8th. Or what the outcomes will be. Or if it will matter. 

But of one thing I am sure. On November 9th, God will still be God. He already knows what I will choose. And whoever wins, He will use the person and that party for His glory, for His purpose, for His will. God is not a Democrat, or a Republican, or a man, or a woman. He does not scratch his head or raise his eyebrow at the events that have gone on, are going on, or will go on. None of this surprises Him. 

And in that, I find comfort.