Last year I tried for three months to get my two sisters to help me with my elderly mom's care--financially, emotionally, whatever way they could. They could not, would not, Sam-I-am-I-do-not-like-green-eggs-and-ham, help out in any way. One wanted nothing to do with her (said Mom needed 24/7 nursing care), and the other said she was through caring for Mom, and would not ever involve herself with that craziness again...that whatever I decided was "fine with her." So, we moved her here, she got sick, then sicker, etc., etc., home healthcare, then into a nursing home, hospital, geropsychiatric unit, etc., etc., guardianship hearing. Months of pleas for help (crickets), emails and texts asking for financial assistance (silence), snail mail letter updating them on her status and asking if they wanted her dog, her belongings, or if they could help in any way, shape or form. Nada, nothing, zip. One sister would sneak out here to Brevard when she knew we were out of town, and finally conspired with the other sister to bust Mom out of the nursing home. They filed criminal charges against me. Dropped, unfounded. Harassed me for months. Cyber-bullied. Sent false accusations to local businesses. Convinced my parents and nieces and nephews I made it all up, that I stole Mom's money, her dog, her things, that Mom is perfectly fine, no problem at all.
But worse than that? These same siblings who repeatedly refused to help me, who told me they did not have the time, the inclination, the heart, or the desire to assume Mom's care, who left it all up to me and my husband, who brushed off their hands and did not give us one red cent or, more importantly, one shoulder to lean on for 15 months of hell, all of the sudden are sharing care of said mother. One sister actually just left for overseas this past weekend, for six weeks, and the other sister flew up TO Nashville to BRING Mom back to Florida WITH her. The sister who actually said "I was forced to take care of her and I will never be put in that position ever again." And, to rub salt in the wound, my parents are flying down to see my sister in December to "help her out" after she has a minor knee procedure. And she has friends and three grown children she can fly down for free. Really? My parents? Who not only did not come out and see me after Mom was transferred to a nursing home, they did not want to even hear me vent about all the issues i was having...even though Alex's parents were critically ill, and I was all alone, and needed someone to talk to, to lean on. They just told me "Everyone has problems" The same parents who refused to "take sides" but knew all along my sister was planning on moving my mom out of the facility? Even though I had POA? That both sisters were working against me?
Poor little me. (Warning: Metaphor avalanche ahead). I have been slapped in the face. Had the scab ripped off the wound and salt poured and rubbed in it, then lemon juice poured on it for good measure. I've turned the other cheek. People tell me to let it go. To drop it. To move on. To be a peacemaker. How can I when I keep getting sand kicked in my face? I just think it is safe to go back into the damn water, and then BAM!, a shark sidles up and bites a big chunk out of my self esteem, my faith, my trust in the Lord. I am not deluding myself either...I am fully aware there are folks out there who have far worse things to deal with than a couple of Benedict Arnold sisters. In fact, I go to church with several wonderful people who are dealing with situations that would knock the breath out of many of you.
Then it hits me. "But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matt 5:39) I am being completely selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed, when I should be Christ-focused, Christ-centered, and Christ-absorbed. Okay, yeah, I know, that last one is a stretch, but it's my blog, not yours. I am seeking to be understood, instead of seeking to understand. Seeking to be accepted, not seeking to accept others. Trying to get others to see my way, instead of seeing their point of view. And most importantly, I have been forgetting that all of us are created in the image of our God--not just me, not just the people I like, or the nice people, or the folks who agree with me, or vote like me, or believe the same as me. But all people. And I am commanded by He who created me to love everyone. My neighbors My friends. My family. My enemies. Everyone.Whether they believe me or not. Whether they like me or not. Period.
He didn't say it would be easy.
God's pathway never is.
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