Overwhelmed? Or Overcomer?

Overwhelmed:  To be subjected to incapacitating emotional or mental stress; defeated

Overcomer:  a person who overcomes something : one who succeeds in dealing with or gaining control of some problem or difficulty 

For the past month I have been struggling with putting thoughts on paper (well, on the keyboard, anyway)--to try to put into words what we are going through. Feeling overwhelmed, blind-sided, and struggling with so many emotions and situations.  Like I am drowning.   Trying to be an overcomer, to handle new challenges and life's punches on my own.  So, initially I thought contrasting being overwhelmed (i.e., defeated) with being an overcomer (i.e., a victor) would be the right ticket.  But the more I tried to justify this position, the more stuck I became.  I got frustrated, and thought, why is this so hard?  Because the whole premise is wrong from the outset.  Look at the definitions again--overwhelmed implies a situation is beyond our control, but the most popular definition of "overcomer" says the person gains control.  

Light bulb moment.  

I was looking at it all wrong.  Yes, the one being overwhelmed has no control over the situations that are overwhelming--shit happens, things go wrong, stress is a fact of life.  Yet the world view of being an overcomer is to take the reins, to gain control of the problem.  Go from being the victim to the victor.  But we are no more in control of the solution than we are in control of the problem!  So many times, when troubles befall me, I look to God and throw up my hands in despair, asking Why?  Why me?  Then, I put my head down and try to figure it all out, to gain control of something I had no control over to begin with.  I blame Him (or others, or even myself) for my problems, yet I want to take credit for fixing it, for finding a way out.  How screwed up is that?  Not take the blame, but wanting the glory.  

I know better.  I let the situation overwhelm me, forgot the basics,  looked inward instead of upward.  Walked by myself instead of holding on to the hand that formed me.  

Yes, we are going through a lot right now--have been for three years.  Some sad, some joyful, some unexpected, and some expected.   This last twist seems like God's big practical joke on us.  I doubt my ability to handle it, to make it through this.  Yet, the operative word is there...through.  Meaning there is a beginning, a journey, and an end.  And the more I hold on to His Word, and trust in Him, the fewer wrong turns, dead ends, and obstacles I'll encounter.  

Hear my cry O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint.  Lead me to the rock that is higher than I for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.  Ps 61:1-3

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, Then You knew my path. In the way in which I walk They have secretly set a snare for me. Psalm 142:3

The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne  Rev 3:21

For everyone that has been born of God overcomes the world.  And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?  1 Jn 5:4-5

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Rom 12:21

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.   2 Tim 4:7

I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world  John 16:33