On Mercy and Fairness

Setting a Christian example.  Turn the other cheek.  Establish good boundaries.  Love each other.  Do unto others.  Stand up for what you believe.  The struggle is real, people.  Trying to filter through the seemingly conflicting messages.  Add to that human expectations, no, human tendencies, no, MY tendency, for wanting life to bend to my desires.  The unquenchable thirst for fairness in this life threatens at times to consume me; I hold up situations, circumstances, and the actions and thoughts of others up to some nebulous yardstick of fairness, and cry out "NOT FAIR!" or smugly smile and say, "See? I was right!"  Consumed with the selfish need to prove my point, to get what I "deserve," for life to be fair, for others to see where I am coming from, I stop in my tracks, shamefaced.  Fairness?  Do I truly want fairness in this life?  Do I really want what I deserve?  Am I so blinded by the quest for fairness that I have left mercy in a cloud of dust behind me?

I stop dead in my tracks, stricken by the incongruence of fairness over mercy.  Were God to dispense fairness, to give me what I deserve, I would be crushed, condemned, hopeless.  Nothing I do or say or feel can cover my sins.  I would fall before His throne, before the throne of judgment, and He would banish me from His presence.  I would get what I deserve.  I would get what is fair.  But, no...instead of fairness, He bestows His wonderful, life-saving mercy.  The judgment seat is transformed into the mercy seat.  I will stand before him with all my sins, my ugliness, my selfishness, covered with the blood of His perfect son.  Jesus advocates for us to to the Father; he suffered, died, was buried, and rose from the dead to forestall a judgment of "fairness."  Yes, Jesus took my punishment for me. 

For the mercy I am shown every day, the mercies I will receive at the end of my days, isn't it only right that I exhibit mercy in response to petty offenses and perceived unfairness?  Proving my point at the expense of mercy and love and forgiveness is a slap in God's face.  

Lord, help me show a fraction of the mercy to others that You have shown me, as a measure of my gratitude to You.