Unrealistic Expectations

ex·pec·ta·tion

ˌekspekˈtāSH(ə)n/

noun

plural noun: expectations

1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

   
   

   "reality had not lived up to expectations"

   
   

   • a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

     
     

     "students had high expectations for their future"

     
     

     
     

We all have them...ideas and expectations of what others should do, or say, whether friends, strangers, family, or even God.  A situation arises, we analyze it and react, and expect others to react likewise.   The problem with that?  Well, we are not all the same, and what we do in a situation, while it may seem right for us, may not be what someone else would do; heck, it could even be the total opposite of what WE should do.  While a normal assumption, expecting a certain behavior or reaction from someone else can only lead to disappointment at best, and fractured relationships, depression, and hopelessness at worst.  Unrealistic expectations put a heavy burden on our shoulders; they give us the false impression we have control over something we do not.    When I find myself saying, "but they should have said this!," or "why couldn't she do what a normal person would have done?", I have to smack myself upside the head and remind myself they are not me, I am not them, and most importantly, I am not God.

My mother-in-law is dying, almost two years from the date her husband of 51 years died.  My husband has to fly out suddenly to be at her side, and I have a totally dependent family member living with us--not unlike 2016.  To make it even more eerily deja-vu like, a storm is bearing down on us as I write this--although this time it is a hurricane instead of a blizzard.  As I drove Alex to the airport this afternoon, I began to fret how I am all alone, that no one is here to help, that no one wants to help, comparing this situation to the mess two years ago.  But, as Alex gently chided me, this is not the same.  We have each other, and most importantly, we have God.  I have friends I can reach out to, and our kids, and neighbors...even if my sisters are no longer part of our life.   I cannot expect "blood from a turnip," as an old saying goes--people can only give what they can give.  People fall short of our expectations; sadly, many times it is people we love and expect to be there for us, to do what we would do in the same situation.  I have to remind myself though...we ALL fall short of God's expectation.  

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus."

Managing my expectations of myself is a full-time job, let alone trying to grapple with my expectations of others.  As long as I aspire to live up to my Creator's expectations (which I never will until I meet Him in heaven), I have my hands full and don't need to burden myself with all the shouldas, couldas, and wouldas. Like David, I must strengthen myself in the Lord my God (I Sam 30:6).