The Thankless Job

I didn’t ask for this job.  I did not ask to be appointed health care POA and executrix. And I knew it’d cause issues with my sisters. I just didn’t know it would be so soon.  After Sheila died they all deserted me.  They left and never even once told me what they wanted or asked if they could help.  They just criticize and find fault no matter what I do.  They manufacture slights and wag their heads over imagined wrongs.  I know they are hurting.  I hurt too.  And I hurt for them because I cannot help them at all.  I cannot give them the peace they seek.  Nothing will give them that peace. Not a car.  Not things.  Not money.  Not control.  Not remains.  Not anything.  Only God can give them that peace and they are not receptive.  They want to lash out and shoot bitter arrows at me.  They want me upset and confused and disoriented.  But my orientation is in You, Jesus.  When I forget that, when I try to find answers by looking inward, then I am blind.  But when I crumble and fall on my knees and hold my arms out to You, and look upward, that is when I find peace.  Peace that all will be ok.  That nothing matters but you.  Nothing is new under the sun.  Not my joy.  Not my worries.  Not my sorrow.  All is planned by God.  And in that I find rest.