More than I can handle

We humans are a stubborn lot--proud, too, and much too overconfident in our own abilities to get through life's ups and downs.  I'm no different than the rest of you, mind you. I have faced lots of challenges so far--some easy, some nearly insurmountable, but I managed to stumble along. Sometimes I would ignore the problem and hope it would go away on its own (it didn't), and other times I would tackle it head on, full speed ahead, thinking I could use my superior intellect and vast personal experience to best the situation (again, utter failure).  Obstacle after obstacle, challenge after challenge, I tried my darnedest to overcome each one using human traits, until finally I would realize I couldn't do it.  Not by myself.  I needed divine assistance--if not to solve the issue, at least to get through it.  So I asked/begged/pleaded for God to help me. He did. Each and every time. Not always how I'd expected, or wanted, or prayed.  But He always came through.

A smarter person would have learned her lesson, and realize quite early on how inadequate she really is to manage life's trials and tribulations on her own.  Not me.  Nope.  Decades later, I persist in thinking, even if only for a moment, that I can sort out such and such a problem.  Very rarely, if at all, is my first thought, upon running into some new wrinkle, "Hey, God, I know you've got this covered, and I have faith you will hold my hand through this."  Sure, it may be my second (or third or fourth or nineteenth) thought. But I stubbornly lean on my own understanding.  Silly, silly me.  

Who hasn't voiced a worry to a friend, a Bible study group, an acquaintance, a family member, even a total stranger, and heard the "God never gives you more than you can handle" admonition? I know I have. I've even said that trite little phrase to someone facing a problem, and have felt quite smug when I did, as if that was all the reassurance that person would need.   Heck, I've even told myself the same thing, and blithely forged ahead, tackling whatever it was I had to tackle, trying this or that, all along believing that, since God would never give me more than I could handle, then well, I could handle anything. And when I failed miserably, falling flat on my face, I was bewildered, crushed, and broken. Time and time and time again.  Even as recently as this week.  

Thankfully, though, even though I am stubborn and proud and not too bright at times, I believe that, although God frequently (maybe even always?) gives me more than I can handle, He always provides me the grace to endure any test, and the strength to face the next challenge. Nothing I face is a surprise to God, or impossible for Him to handle.  With His help, and His grace, I can handle anything.  It may not be pretty, and I may muddle through, but even that is more than I could do on my own.

It would be good for me to repeat that to myself 100 times a day...upon waking, eating, and going to bed, and every moment in between.   

I am, after all, a stubborn, prideful human.  And obviously, a very slow learner.