On antisocial media

I just spent the last hour doing two things: reading and responding to social media posts, and playing Farm Heroes Saga, and the most productive (and least depressing) activity was hands down the second one. Here it is, Saturday morning in the mountains, a gorgeous late August day, sun shining, after a good night's sleep in our beautiful home, and my eyes are brimming with tears out of sadness, frustration, and a sense of hopelessness all because of what I have ingested online. And I am ashamed--ashamed because I let it get to me, ashamed that I have not even prayed let alone open my Bible, ashamed at the excuses I make to rationalize every moment I spend scrolling through posts and comments and memes and photos. "I like to keep up with what's going on in my friends' lives," "I only use FaceBook for seeing and sharing photos of my grandkids," "I need the platform to promote the charity I endorse and volunteer for," "How else can I find out what is happening in my community and how I can help?," and "I only follow people, groups and blogs that are not antithetical to my beliefs and values."  For the past three years I have fooled myself into believing I can use social media for good; that I can control my tongue, sit on my hands, and refrain from snarky comments; and that in no way will any social media platform affect my mood or impact the state of my soul. Yet here I am, blogging about just that.

Sure, I have tried to minimize my exposure to negativity by unfollowing people who post inflammatory memes and comments, by ignoring the algorithm-generated newsfeed and pages, by blocking the trolls who have nothing better to do than stir the pot, and by leaving those groups bent on divisiveness. And when I do open up my computer and click on that FaceBook bookmark, I tell myself I am only checking the status of an item I posted for sale, or a request for volunteers for St Baldrick's. Who am I kidding? Not myself, and least of all God. Five, ten, thirty, ninety minutes later, I find myself no wiser, and, worst of all, I realize I have not even remotely represented Christ, shared my faith, or spread the Good News. Every post I submit, every comment I make, every photo I share, deep down I am looking for approval, and weighing my sense of worth on how many positive emojis I garner. When I think I am posting or sharing something out of love for others, when I really peel it back, I am looking for affirmation.  I intentionally seek out groups and "friends" who think the same way I do, and who will give me that sought-after thumbs up, or better yet, a heart. In person I almost NEVER share my thoughts on a subject or my opinion with strangers; in fact, I am quite introverted around people I do not know, only offering basic social courtesies--a handshake, a hello, a smile. I shrink from engaging in debates and conversations in groups unless I know each and every person, and even then, I tend to keep my thoughts to myself (even if I do roll my eyes) 🙄. But, put me behind a screen and the veil is off, safe behind the anonymity of a keyboard.

If something I wear makes me itch, or is uncomfortable, I don't wear it--I either toss it or donate it. When I am driving down the road and a song comes on that I hate, I change the station or turn off the radio. If it is too hot, I turn on the a/c; too cold, I put on a sweater or turn up the heat. When confronted with something I know is evil and wrong and against God's law, I avoid it. But I have allowed the poison of anti-social media to seep into my heart and into my soul, and it is robbing me of my present--I cannot enjoy the world in front of me, all around me, if I am engaged with the false reality of what is on the internet's social media sites. I become trapped in the filth and the depression and the neediness of the world, and I want to fix it and help and respond to every single thing. Floods, cancer, deaths, bombings, hurricanes--it all pulls at my heart. Looking down at what is on my computer or my phone keeps me from looking up and around at what is going on in my home, my family, my community. Even now as I type this, I am being drawn to open another tab in my browser and click on that FaceBook icon, to check if anyone I know posted a photo, to see what local groups are heralding as newsworthy. As if there is anything newsworthy on a website that caters to, no, promotes, divisiveness and the tribal mentality of “if you don’t agree with everything I say and do, then you are my enemy”. Social media is no longer social or sociable, and it never was courteous; instead, FaceBook, Twitter, TikTok, and their ilk, while they seemingly began as online gathering places for sharing funny cat videos and opinions and as a way to “meet” people, are now just giant echo chambers.

Four years ago I extricated myself from the vacuous, rabble-rousing, and one-sided 24-hour news stations where talking heads droned on ad nauseum about anything and everything. News—HA!—as if the mainstream media provide anything news worthy without burdening viewers with their opinions.  I have not missed anything, either; the world hasn’t stopped turning on its axis and the sun still does come up in the east. As for FaceBook, perhaps it is time to take a break, maybe even close my account, and stop making excuses for the time I waste in virtual reality, to quit justifying my social media presence; I don't really need to know what my 487 "friends" are eating or doing or wearing or thinking. Instead, I should be focusing on what my immediate family and neighbors are doing and thinking, and spending time with real people, getting real hugs, and sharing their very real joys and sorrows. Bottom line: If it neither edifies people or glorifies God, it is not worth the time.