Pinball wizards

After over three months at the Oaks, my mom finally got transferred to the Long Term Care wing--it took this long because they had to find a suitable roommate.  And that is no easy task.  But the staff did it.  I was out of town when she was transferred...she called me to tell me she had moved, and her voice just sounded, well, broken.  Like she'd given up. 

Yep, I knew the signs, so I called the nurses and told them to keep an eye on her.  Once I got back, we visited daily. Helplessly watched as she refused to eat or drink.  Watched as she stayed in bed 20, then 22, then finally 24 hours a day, not taking care of even the most basic hygiene. Watched as she went from being irritable and confrontational with the staff to being withdrawn and hunkered down in her bed, not talking to anyone. By the ten day point, she was emptying her ostomy bag in her bed and on the floor,  was no longer dressing herself, and had pretty much given up.  I'd seen this before at least three times in the past year--this was her cry for attention. So, I demanded they call the doctor, order some labs--less than 12 hours later, she was on her way to the hospital ER. Then admitted for pneumonia and dehydration.  

Simultaneously, Alex's dad was on his way to an ER in Tampa after suffering yet another fall, this time dislocating his shoulder. Just a couple days ago he had fallen in the shower and had to go to the ER for some stitches, but had gone back to his nursing home all patched up. Then he falls again...luckily Alex's brother Dave is nearby to take care of those issues. And at least now my sweet mother-in-law is doing better and living in the same facility as her husband.  

But really, what is it with Bud and my mom going into hospitals on the same day?  Are they trying to make us crazy? Maybe we already are crazy.  I feel crazy sometimes.  I have been sick for three weeks with a stupid cough, a cough so bad that by now my throat feels like raw hamburger.  Alex and I have been apart longer than we have been together this year. We have been pinging from one crisis to another, sometimes several crises at one time, and then in between making time for Disney trips with our grandkids, visits to see our newest granddaughter, and doing things around the house.  

The best analogy I can think of is that of a pinball table, where Alex and I are the little silver balls and we just keep getting bounced around on different bumpers and bells, with no rhyme or reason. We just bounce around and hit all the bumpers and try to stay in the game. There are no rules to this game. And we don't know what bumper we are running into next.

We are just playing the game. I need a rule book