I loved Aesop's Fables growing up...for those of you who just do FaceBook and iPhones, there were these things called books. You would read them. Many of them had morals to the story. Even before Google. Anyway, I compare a lot of my life at times to various Aesop's Fables...there's one about the Fox and the Grape, The Lion and the Mouse, the Ant and the Grasshopper, and one of my all time favorites is the one about the boy, the man, and the donkey. There are various versions, but the basic situation in this fable is of a man and his son who are accompanied by their donkey and meet constant criticism from passers by of the way it is used or treated by them. When both walk beside the donkey they are criticised for not riding it. When the father rides, he is blamed for making his young son walk; when the son rides, he is blamed for leaving his elderly father on foot. When both ride, they are berated for overburdening their beast. Then the father then exclaims that the only option left is to carry the donkey on his back; in others he does so, or father and son tie the donkey to a pole which they carry on their shoulders. The pole breaks, and the donkey falls into a river and nearly drowns. The grain the donkey is carrying to the market dissolves when he falls in the water. Moral to the story: You cannot make anyone happy if you try to make everyone happy.
Enter Barbara--no, I am not the donkey!--who is having her children and grandchildren all together in North Carolina for the first time ever over the fourth of July. She wants, as always, for all her children to be happy and to get along. One of those children is leaving for overseas (with their daughters) a week after the North Carolina visit. The other lives in Missouri and is bringing their little four-month old baby, and has invited her new baby's godfather to join the family. Mom says "sure, he can come!" because she likes this young man, and he really is almost part of the family anyway. But then Mom is worried there will be different dynamics, that her two daughters won't get quality time together, that the young man will feel awkward and left out. So, she tries to fix it. To make one daughter happy, she said "yes!" Thinking she will make the other daughter happy, she retracts the invitation, but of course that hurts feelings, and makes a huge mess. Now no one is happy...not me, the daughters, or the young man. Everyone is upset. My husband is fit to be tied. And wanting to throw me in the river. What a huge mess. So, I swallow my pride, and talk to my daughters. And to the godfather. Who is probably the donkey in this story. I fix it. Since I broke it. I feel like an idiot. I am wishing I could just dissolve in the river. I am so angry at myself for always wanting everyone to be happy, for everything to be perfect, for everyone to get along.
Then I realized I am not perfect. That life is not perfect. Or perfectly planned. That I do not control anything--not feelings, events, or outcomes. That in trying to react to everyone's wishes, I was ending up being completely un-Christlike. I reacted badly, and nearly hurt a very near and dear friend, someone who is almost like a son to us. I hurt my daughter, who wants to (also) try to make everyone happy. And I confused my husband, who had no idea I was doing this.The more I try to gain control, I lose control, and I find no rest. And the more I let go of control, and let God be in control, then, and only then, can I rest. "Cease striving and know that I am God." In original Hebrew it means giving up by putting our hands down. Let God have the wheel. Let Him drive and only then will I experience rest and peace.
Every day I discover how weak I am and how strong God is; how small I am and how huge is God. I think I will just listen to what He is telling me, what He has planted in my heart, and find peace in Him doing the driving.
Even if it is a donkey.
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