The Family Circle

We just got back from a spur-of-the-moment trip to my birthplace in Cincinnati. We ate regional cuisines, went to local landmarks, and I relived a lot of memories--my nana's old house, the school and church I attended through third grade, the street where I wrecked my stepmom's car.  It was fun, that trip down memory lane, but mostly, this past weekend was a real eye-opener on the true meaning of family. Our primary motivation for our trip was to meet up with our daughter, her husband, and their darling baby girl; they wanted to travel to Cincinnati to introduce Sophie to some members of her family. And most of those folks are not related to her by blood, or even by marriage. It is confusing, and I had a lot of trouble trying to explain why we went there, who everyone was, and why it was important for Sophie to meet these people. "Well, we were visiting my ex-husband's second ex-wife who used to be Becky and Mandy's stepmom when they were little," was just SO complicated to say, not to mention it sounded utterly ridiculous and demeaning.  I suddenly realized, like a slap upside the head, that I was trying to fit people into some sort of family "mold." I was being a "family snob," confined by some preconceived notion and definition of what makes a family.  

Marriage and bloodlines are not the only things that define family. We are all broken, we are all sinners, and our weak, flimsy attempts at forming a perfect union, the ultimate family, often fail. And even if that little family survives, the nuclear family does not (at least should not!) exclude those outside the family from entering in to that circle of love, ever broadening it, extending it, testing it, growing it. Many times, it is our adopted family that is the truest family, the most accepting, the most loving, the most forgiving. They don't have to love us just because they happen to be related to us--they CHOOSE to love us. Despite all our faults and our quirks. 

My daughters are amazing young women, and I love them dearly and am very proud of them, but this weekend as I watched my youngest joyfully envelop people who have loved her for years into her new family, and introducing her child to those who loved her and were always there for her, my heart swelled with love and pride.  Her idea of family was not constrained by marriage or a shared gene pool--she knows her family, and cherishes every single one of them. And they cherish her. They accept and love her, and therefore accept and love the ones she loves.   

Including me. And by that, I am truly humbled.  

We would all do better to look at everyone as not just part of the family of man, but as the family of God. The potential for new brothers, sisters, parents, and grandparents is limitless, which is awesome. Limitless love--God's love.

The family circle--it may be a family circus sometimes, but I am so glad I have a ringside seat!