Running Away

We've all said it, we have probably all even heard it from our own kids:  

"I hate it here!  I am running away from home!"

Mandy tried it, Becky too, and we had countless foster children who tried it as well (and at least one of them never returned).  As adults, we try not to laugh, and some of us have even offered to help them pack, but we know they really are not going anywhere.  They are just trying to push back against our control. 

Later on, we drop out of school, quit our jobs, run away from relationships, and shirk responsibility.  Something happens that we don't like, the situation becomes a little too uncomfortable, someone says something a little too close to the truth, and we bolt.  We run.  We "take our marbles and go home."  We too are pushing back against God being in control.

My mom has been running away for decades.  Running from the truth, from herself, from various failed marriages, from her siblings.  Shutting out anyone who says something she didn't like, or who won't agree with her.  Quitting jobs, defaulting on loans.  Moving more times than I can count or remember.   We never really got too upset over all the moves--it was, well, it was "just mom."

It's different now.  And sad.  She threatens to run away, to move somewhere else, and she pushes us away.  But she knows she needs help, that she cannot live on her own anymore, no matter how much she insists she can.  

Today the staff and I told my mom she cannot come home.  That the goal is for long term care.  

Her suitcases were all packed, her personal hygiene items were in plastic bags.  She says she will leave, she will run away.  We all stood there and looked at her, searching for a glimmer of understanding, my heart breaking as I watched this once vibrant, independent woman realize we were right.  She has nowhere to go.

God give my mom peace.  Let her run away into Your loving arms.