Rewind

Since I recently wrote a blog entry titled "Fast Forward " I thought it only fitting to pen an entry going in the opposite direction...

I'm on a plane headed back home. My husband is most likely on the couch with a heating pad on his back, a TV remote in his hand, and a MacBook on his lap.  He'll be leaving soon to drive to Greenville to pick me up at the airport, and Lord willing we will be on our way home around midnight.  I'm missing my hubby, my dogs, my church, and my friends, but am understandably less excited about sorting through ten days worth of mail and cleaning up after three dogs and a class c bachelor. But, it's home and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Rewind to less than 12 hours ago, and I'm waking up to this little chipmunk cheeked cherub cooing and gurgling her good morning song. She greets me with the most beautiful smile and flaps her arms happily.  After a quick diaper change and a nice warm bottle, she nestles onto my chest, sucking on her fingers, and peacefully falls back to sleep. For one blissful hour I am spellbound by her scent, the sound of her breathing, and the feel of her soft warm hand clutching my shirt.  And although my back and my hip are stiff and screaming at me to move, I sit still, lest I wake this sleeping angel.  And I wouldn't wish it any other way. 

Rewind to ten days ago, and I'm standing at baggage claim at the Springfield-Branson MO airport, waiting for my bag. I feel my granddaughter's tiny fingers grasp my hair and hear my daughter's cute giggle as they "sneak up on grandma." Thus we embark on a whirlwind visit filled with smiles, card games, porch discussions, family meals, Sophie bath nights with her daddy, car rides, messy poops, laundry, and late night talks and early morning bottles. Watching my youngest daughter excel as a mother. Being invited in to the sacred inner sanctum of their family as they tuck Sophie in every night, Ben cuddling her gently and whispering in her ear as Becky sits cross-legged on the nursery floor softly reading "On The Night You Were Born."  Participating in the joy of their daily routine, and marveling at how wonderful they love each other. My daughter is grown, a wife and a mother, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Rewind to November 2006. I just got off the phone with Ben, who called me from California asking for our blessing for him to marry my baby. I couldn't make it out there in time, I said; I had not even met him yet. We said yes...they got married at the courthouse days before he deployed for 7 months to Afghanistan. Alex and I flew out a week later for Becky's college graduation, and we tried to keep her upbeat and busy.  Although we still hadn't met Ben, one look at Becky's face told us everything we needed to know--Becky was ecstatically, undeniably in love. A completely changed young woman from four months prior when she bemoaned she would never meet "the one." I was no longer first on her call list.  And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Rewind to December 1983. I'm at work as an USAF NCO, 47 weeks pregnant and beyond uncomfortable. I am staring at the wall clock, grasping a half eaten Clark bar, when the first sergeant walks in. He asks what I'm doing. I hold my finger up, breathing through pursed lips, and when I'm able to speak, I answer him.  Three minutes apart, I say.  Baby's finally coming, I manage to whisper.  He drives me across base, where I stop into OB GYN, get whisked up to the maternity ward, and 45 minutes later give birth to a beautiful, fat-cheeked 10 lb baby girl.  I'm in love with this precious creature and I promise her I will always be there for her.   We soon joined her big sister at home. And spent the next 20 plus years growing closer as a family, despite divorces, illnesses, moves far away from family, and cancer.  Looking back, I'd have it no other way.

Rewind to over 2000 years ago, and a young maiden has placed her newborn son in a roughly-hewn makeshift cradle in a barn. He is Emmanuel. Wonderful. Counselor.  Almighty God. Prince of Peace. His mother knows a spear will pierce his side and her heart, and by that act He will redeem all those called by God to be His children.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  

And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed. Luke 2:34-35