This week I have been struggling with the reality of learning to have a servant's heart, of being a servant. I keep trying to skip the homework lesson, but the Lord does not want to let me slide on it. Silly me, here I figured just because I volunteer 40 hours a week at a local non-profit store, I could get a free pass. And wait, what about those Meals on Wheels I deliver one day a week? That should count as extra credit! And, as if that isn't enough, here we are, in the final stages of organizing a fundraiser for childhood cancer research--quite a successful fundraiser, if I must say so myself! While I am taking care of my mentally handicapped elderly brother. And trying to muddle through a messy legal battle. What more could I be doing? Heck, I am awesome!
Gulp...That was a big chunk of humble pie I just choked on.
Serving with a servant's heart doesn't meant serving for the purpose of being noticed, or for the purpose of self-love, or praises of others. A servant's heart serves others by seeking to meet the real needs of another. Without seeking praise. Or recognition. Or appreciation. Or even a thank you. The humility of it all smacked me in the forehead yesterday morning, when I stayed in bed an extra ten minutes. My husband had made my brother a quick breakfast of cereal and juice, but had to leave for an appointment before he could make coffee. He rushed off, I threw on a robe, and came out in the living room, said good morning to my brother, and started to head to the kitchen for a drink of water. Before I went five steps, my brother bluntly asked if I was ever going to make him some coffee. I stopped. I bit my tongue. And that is when it hit me. What if that had been my four-year old granddaughter asking me, "Nana, when are you going to get me some juice?"
Being a servant, having a servant's heart, is looking at everyone, every person you serve, as if he is Christ. Even when the person you serve is grouchy, or isn't a cute, sweet little baby. Or won't ever stop needing you. Or will ever return the favor, or ever appreciate you. Yes, even if the person is that customer who has Aspergers' and is rude to you every single time she comes in the store, the one who glares at you or calls you names.
Because having a servant's heart is NOT about being a servant just to someone else...it is about being in submission to God first, THEN being in submission to one another. Submitting to their real needs, willingly, and therefore subjugating my own needs, with zero desire for praise or payback. Every relationship I have, I must have a servant's heart. Sister, friend, daughter, mother, volunteer, wife, child of God. A servant's heart.
Lord give me a servant's heart.
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