With Six you get...New Underwear!

Recently, while talking to my BFF, Brandy, I gasped, oh my goodness, with six I get underwear!  Of course, being younger than me, she didn't grasp the reference to a movie from the 60s, called "With Six you get Eggroll", but that's quite alright...she has Netflix and can rent the movie.   Her five children will enjoy it.  (If you haven't seen the movie, rent it...on Netflix, on cable, whatever.  It is an innocent, hilarious, and fun romantic comedy (yes, in color).  You don't get the title/punchline until the end of the movie, but that's okay...it's still a great movie.)

Anyway, I realized last month, in a completely illogical and random moment, that, (a) I have six grandchildren, (b) my oldest grandchild is 9 years old, and (c) the newest pair of undies I own is older than my oldest grandchild.   Brandy, like me, was quite understandably shocked at the state of my unmentionables; they truly were, well, unmentionable.  She scolded me quite vehemently for at least, oh, I don't know, 13 minutes, on the need to maintain appropriate undergarments, and to invest in oneself, not just in one's children and grandchildren.  It was disgraceful to have a drawerful of shapeless cotton and nylon panties with little to no elastic remaining in them. No wonder my LulaRoe leggings were so uncomfortable!  So, being the consummate online shopper that I am, I researched "best women's undies" based on body shape.  I had no idea how much research has been done on the subject.

• I found a blog outlining the frequency of underwear replacement, how many colors one needed, and the need to replace after one changed partners (ewww!)
• There are evidently SIX types of underwear every woman should own--from a g-string, to a thong, to bikini, to brief, to boy shorts, to high waisted. Seriously, every woman?  I am going to take a poll and find out how many women actually own all six of these.  
• One designer actually says the shape of a woman's derrière falls into one of five basic shapes:  round, A-shape, heart, square, or v-shape.  And that determines the type of undies she should buy.  Sack of potatoes is evidently not among one of those basic shapes.  

• Women prefer color undies, and real women do NOT buy thongs, anymore. Of course, most women already knew this.  Contrary to the Victoria's Secret runway shows and all the hoopla, the most popular items in those stores are those shapeless pajama-like pants you see in airport terminals with the word P-I-N-K across the bottom
• Comfort is in; lace and buttons and bows are out

I know you are dying to know what I came up, and what brand I decided to buy (at least for the next nine years).  Well, the verdict is in:  Warners Womens' no pinching, no problem, modern brief panties. Comfy undies, about $8/pair, five stars, on Amazon.com, on my doorstep in two days (I really do love Amazon Prime).  Tried out my initial three pair...then promptly ordered seven more. 

My hubby thinks $8 per pair a bit excessive.  But then he never really buys new briefs either...since yours truly does the laundry, I'm the one who knows when to put in that Amazon order for another three-pack of Fruit of the Looms and phase out his old threadbare ones.

Not sure if the children are finished giving us grandkids.  

But I promise I will try to be better about refreshing my wardrobe.