Stillness

"Be still, and know that I am God" declares the psalmist. Being still...not my strongpoint. In fact, I would hazard to guess being "still" does not come naturally to any human being. We are too busy keeping busy and planning more busy-ness.  Case in point, today is Sunday, at least for another 46 minutes. I woke up, and from the moment my feet hit the floor, it was a struggle for me to relax, to rest, to be "still." Making the coffee, feeding the dogs, getting ready for church, checking my phone, straightening up the house, making the bed. Not until I got to church did I actually take the TIME to be STILL. The scripture lesson? Psalm 46, of course.  

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.  There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.  God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.  The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.  The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.  Come, behold the works of the LORD, how he has brought desolations on the earth.  He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire.  "Be still, and know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"  The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

With the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey in Texas still fresh on everyone's minds, especially for our pastor and many church members who have had family and friends personally affected and displaced by this most recent disaster, the first four verses seem to cry out to them personally. But I only half listened to the analogies about floods and winds and earth giving way.  And again, when North Korea's most recent nuclear test and the general instability of a lot of the world were referenced in the part about "the nations rage, the kingdoms totter;" again, my mind was not fully engaged. I was focused on my own storm, my own internal wars. I could not be completely still.  

After church, lunch with my husband and his brother. Again, not completely engaged; sitting and eating, conversing (somewhat), but my mind and my heart, not STILL. Then home, and busy-ness took over--give the dogs baths, clean the kitchen, eat dinner, update the calendar, make a dinner reservation, start planning a trip to visit family.  Unable to make any decision on dates.  Trying to not think about the lawsuit. The ugliness of it all. Ashamed that I cannot let go, that I cannot be still, no matter how hard I try. Thinking and worrying about what will happen, how and when and if it will ever be resolved, trying to comprehend why and how this happened: all these thoughts tumble around in my head, 24/7. Every waking moment, heck, even my dreams, are consumed with thoughts of the lawsuit.  

Why?  Because the very existence of it, the fact that it is still NOT resolved, screams at me, YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL!!!!  

And finally, with less than 30 minutes remaining in the day of rest, a day when I should above all, be STILL, it hits me. I am worried and saddened and irritated with myself for not having control. For not being able, for once, to fix it, solve it, clean it, or put it away where it belongs. Eight little words...

"Be still. Don't do anything, or think anything, or say anything. Just wipe it out of my mind. Think about God.His plan. His timing. Look at everything else that is going on in my life that I should be happy about, praying about, focused on.  

and know. Be aware, cognizant, alert. Be conscious of who I am and what I can and cannot do. That I am not in control. Of anything.  

that I am God." The creator of the universe. The I Am. Omniscient. Omnipotent.  Omnipresent.  

Being still is not inaction, or sleeping, or even waiting for something to happen.  It is to be at peace, to be assured that, no matter what happens, God has this. Trusting that the God of Jacob is MY fortress, my stronghold, my safety, and my ever-present salvation.  

It is not easy, this being still.  

BE STILL

But what if...

BE STILL

Yeah, I know, but...

BE STILL   

But...

Hush...