Yes, eating out at restaurants with the elderly is an adventure. Not necessarily fun. But an adventure nonetheless. Very little embarrasses us anymore-- we are prepared for anything. Literally.
- Going out to eat without combing her hair. Hair that has not been washed for two weeks.
- being loudly critical of passers by's weight, clothes, hair, (said in a loud "I can't hear so I don't care if she can hear me" voice.)
- Yes, Daddy you must put pants over your Depends, and yes, you have to button your shirt
- Wearing sweat pants with fringed hems (that she fringed herself in 1982) with fuzzy pink crocs and a crazy vest.
- Bringing a thermal tote with her own beverage, a snack size applesauce for Daddy, and crackers.
- Approaching anyone with a baby and proceeds to ooh and ahh and squeeze the baby's face, loudly stating, "oh I am getting my baby fix!"
- Loudly asking "what is taking so long? Did they have to kill the cow?" if they have to wait longer than 90 seconds after ordering for their food to arrive
- Playing with the napkins by putting them on the candle until they catch fire
- Eating most of the meal then stating loudly "I hope they don't think I am paying for that!"
- Putting their fingers in your salad, eating from your plate, saying your food looks like baby poop.
- Picking up the check, studying it, then putting it back on the table for someone else to pay
- Staring at other people and commenting (loudly, of course) on their crazy hair, outfit, jewelry, etc.
- Telling the server their list of medical ailments, including informing them of your colostomy bag
- Letting the dog eat out of the container of ice cream, cheese dip, or applesauce and then putting it back in the refrigerator for others to share.
...and I thought eating out with toddlers was challenging....thank goodness most restaurants we frequent serve alcohol...
No comments:
Post a Comment