Well, one would hope the third time will be the LAST time. My darling mother in law, who is more like a mom to me than my own mom, is back in the hospital for the third time in 30 days. First it was a heart attack, then it was anemia, and now it is anemia again. This time, though, Alex isn't heading down there to be there and to help out with his dad. Heck, he just got home 5 days ago from the last hospitalization. And we have other issues (namely, my mom) here to deal with, not to mention the impending visit of our darling daughter and her family (especially the three granddaughters).
Through it all, I watch my husband try to retain some shred of normalcy as he is flung into crisis after crisis. When he acquiesced to mom moving in with us six months ago, I know he had no idea how complicated things would get. He keeps saying "nothing has changed, nothing has changed, we can still just live our normal life, our normal life," as if repeating this mantra will somehow make it true. He acts as if he is still the same, that it doesn't bother him. But I know him. The worry lines that disappeared since he retired are now creeping back onto his face. His voice doesn't have that joking quality to it as often, and he angers a lot easier, misunderstanding comments and actions. As he made dinner tonight, I watched him and listened. He usually finds great comfort and even excitement in creating culinary delights for us. But tonight, although he made a great meal, the joy was gone.
We are both so overwhelmed with our situation that at times we forget to comfort the other. I forget he is, after all, only human. He is not invincible, or unfeeling, or as strong as he thinks he is. And he does need me, to comfort him, to be there with him, to reach out and touch him, to listen, and to pray with and for him.
Hopefully, this third time will be a charm for me as well, and I will get it right this time.
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